Fathers Day in an expectant household

My sister sent Andy a fathers day card a couple days early but his little face was such a picture :) he is going to be the proudest daddy ever.

We had quite a busy day doing the rounds and catching up on errands - HATE how quickly the weekends seem to be going by. It was nice catching up with everyone though. Life can get away from me sometimes and I forget how much I genuinely enjoy seeing family. That sounds mean but preparing for a baby takes up a lot of time at the moment and I am so tired after work that evenings are mainly recovery time! I really feel blessed for the amount of support we have around us - can be overwhelming, but I am sure it will come in handy once this baby arrives!!

So I treated myself this evening; catching up on my blogs, preparing myself blogging and writing wise to allow me some time off when things get too much. I have so much planned and in the works I am quite excited! I just wish I could write and create for this space all the day. The nursery would be further accessorized if I had the time....

I also found an interesting article about some of the things expectant mothers aren't always told - with some tips thrown in to actually deal with what it identifies. Luckily I think my mum had warned me about most of these..... I just can't imagine sitting still for 6 weeks or at least taking it easy.

On the same website I found some interesting discussion points surrounding discipline and the job we have signed ourselves up for. I love to read especially topics that I am sure will frustrate me if I have no knowledge of how I want to deal with it. Disciplining a child is a very controversial topic and whilst I do appreciate our parents knowledge I want to do things how Andy and I see fit, not just because 'it's what we did'.

I joined the library!

I am quite a restless soul and don't often just sit without doing something, I really enjoyed spending my summers off from school reading. Getting lost in some chick lit romance as I am a hopeless romantic!

So today after my midwife appointment today - measuring 26cm!! I popped to our local library and joined up. I was disappointed with the lack of selection of baby information books, the only one I could find was about breastfeeding so I did have to get it just to make sure I am as prepared as possible when baby arrives - anything I can do to make our adjustment a little easier or make myself feel more prepared I am up for doing whilst I can.

In addition to the breast feeding book I have a new read from Jill Mansell - major chick lit, pretty much the same foundation for each book but its always enough to take me off to a romantic dream!

Next time I visit the library I am hoping to find some books that Andy can read to the baby, we have one we read over and over but it would be nice to find some more! I hope to get our baby as enthusiastic about reading and learning as possible.

HypnoBirthing

So another surprising post about pregnancy!

I can't remember my original reasoning for looking into HypnoBirthing probably a moment of curiosity.

But ever since then I am hooked on the idea of what potential is within me to control my labor and embrace all aspects. I have always liked the idea of a medicine free labor where I could just progress and go with the flow so to speak. I think that the less intervention we have means a quicker recovery and adjustment to our new arrival.

Interestingly the Mongan method of HypnoBirthing was first introduced in 1989 (only the year I was born!) and is based on the work of an English physician that was first developed in 1933. The essence of the method is that fear draws blood away from the uterus making it unable to do its job effectively without pain. The 'pain' of childbirth is supposed to be a combination of fear, tension and ultimately the flight responses identified in the theory 'fight or flight'. Now, I must say at this point I am pregnant with my first child. Of course I am going to look for a solution to labor that gives me my desired outcome. As I only plan two labors in my life I figure this is my starting point because of my beliefs. This method suits me and I appreciate it will not suit everyone.

The biggest positive for me with respect to this idea is the involvement of your partner, I have been quite open with the fact I struggle keeping something that is about us to myself and whilst I appreciate my role at the moment, I love the idea of having Andy welcome our child into the world with a more hands approach. Through massage, keeping me focused through visualization techniques and knowing how I want things to progress should decisions need to be made. At this point I do not fully understand the HypnoBirthing process because I have yet to get Marie Mongan's book, this perspective has been adopted purely from the things I have read online.

I will be ordering my copy of the book shortly - just to get the learning started! I will be sure to write up my birth story once our little one arrives, I hope its a good as some of the birth stories I have read so far.

Useful information:
Hypno-Birthing.org
HypnoBirthing centre

Evening nibbles

I don't know if its pregnancy related or if I am just turning into a pig, I am positive you will see pictures of some if not all of these over the coming days!!!

But these Cheesey crackers look awesome and I think I may just have to make some tomorrow.

I would really like to try and make my own peanut butter like here, I think that its a lot healthier and probably better for baby.

I think that trying something like these Meatless burritos before the baby arrives would give me more options for freezer stocked food. That way we have healthy dinners but they are quick and cheap.

I also really wish I didn't have some frozen pastry sheets, I wish they were defrosted so I could make these lovely cheese straws.

Planning for baby

So I am in my final 3 months of pregnancy and we are trying to step up our preparation by making savings wherever possible, just by making gifts myself and generally trying to get the house ready for a baby on a budget.
(Which is kinda hard when we have no real knowledge - outside of the obvious - of how to make our house suitable for a baby.)

In the house we need to:

• Paint a few rooms - freshen up white. 
• Decorate the nursery
• Clear out the cupboards
• Reorganize the kitchen
• Photo wall in the lounge
• Hall way mirror
• Restyle the bureau

Baby things we need to organise (This looks like we haven't brought anything!):

• Cot
• Travel cot
• Bedding
• Stand alone bouncer
• Storage box for the lounge
• High chair
• Stair gates
• Pram
• Car seat
• Baby monitor

A lot of things we are holding on until the baby arrives to get because we don't want to buy everything in browns, creams and yellow.

Evening in ..... Microwave cake

We also treated ourselves with a microwave cake!! We used this recipe and it turned out really well - even being our first attempt!!

This is a really cheap recipe to use because I had everything in the cupboard just ready to make this delicious treat. 

Pregnancy guilt...

*This is a very personal post, this is me trying to work things through in my head and adjust to this new phase in my life in a positive way. I wont accept derogatory comments on this post because I want to improve myself not feel worse.*

I feel tired. I feel worried. I feel fed up. I feel ungrateful. Most of the time I just feel guilty.

Guilty for some foods I eat.
Guilty I can't exercise as much as I want because of my hip pain.
Guilty that I don't love being pregnant.
Guilty that I worry and stress about working, money and being good enough for this baby.

I even feel guilty in knowing that all my worrying and stressing isn't going to make a difference and potentially negatively effect my baby.

I know that everyone has these days and pregnancy hormones play a part in how I feel, but I don't know how to make myself feel right again. My biggest fear is doing something wrong for this baby, for my husband or for us as a couple.

I held a newborn this week, he was beautiful. I was confident in holding him and comforting him so he didn't cry and I was also relieved to hand this baby back. How can I feel like that when I have my own baby kicking away inside of me? I love feeling this baby move, even as he gets bigger inside me and I get more uncomfortable I know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do to protect this life.

So how can I still feel inadequate? How can I wish my pregnancy away just enjoy the next bit. That's just me actually, I accepted that a while ago.

I know the overwhelming love I feel when Andy touches my belly and its the 3 of us. Andy being a little detached from this pregnancy - doesn't feel the same things and his life hasn't changed that much yet, is getting me down. I am so used to sharing EVERYTHING with Andy that something this important feels wrong for me to have to myself.

He will read to my belly every so often, kiss my belly and just sit feeling the kicks. He has been to all the important doctors/midwife appointments I still just don't feel quite connected as a family of 3 instead of a couple. Maybe this is still to come.