Today I feel grateful

This morning I was in the best of moods, enjoying my pregnancy and happy with how our little life is speeding along at the moment.

Then just after lunch I had a rather rude conversation with someone I wasn't expecting to be rude and I wanted to cry. Since then, all I want to do is cry.

The issue wasn't really an issue and easily rectified but his attitude towards me like I had intentionally wronged him made me feel very upset. So the rest of my day was ruined, my smile a frown and I just want to be in bed.

I am annoyed that I let that one person take away my mood like that because I was genuinely feeling in control of things, achieving and progressing with things that need doing before this baby arrives.
Now I feel as though I need to pause time for everyone else so that I can have a few hours catch up for myself.
Which seems totally selfish considering I was still very productive through the course of the day and evening really, which then makes me annoyed I am annoyed!!!!!

However, I do feel grateful to Andy and the life we currently have. I feel grateful for being able to carry our child and grateful I get to finish my degree. Grateful of the home we have made to bring our child home to, grateful for the support of my family. I really just need to remind myself of my priorities because everything else at the moment is insignificant.

On my pregnancy though, things seem to be going well. I am struggling to find tops that cover me up but I have the band I made in early pregnancy to hide my undone jeans that I will start living in I think - just to make me feel more protected in a weird way.
I am still picking up bits as I visit supermarkets etc so I don't feel stressed about having to buy anything right now. Lovely feeling to be in control of something!

This baby is a wriggler, I am quite sad we don't have anymore scans now but I feel like I want my count down to begin because I just so want to meet our child.
I was thinking this morning, I have to be honest, that the scariest thing I have ever done out of getting married young, degree, choices I have made and even this baby is the mortgage!
I think like everything, a baby, a life together is what you make of it and still I am more afraid of not being able to pay our mortgage than having a baby. I guess in my nieve state I feel I have some control of everything else.

I have said it before but I feel like I am in the right place at the moment, like I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing.

Changing Bag short list

So we had another baby shopping day today and managed to turn up trumps with a lot of the essentials list I have in my head that we NEEDED before the baby turns up! Luckily we don't have loads to get now. My plan has always been - especially with not knowing the sex - we buy enough things to survive a week without HAVING to shop. Especially with Andy's paternity leave, we will have time to go out and sort things for when we discover what we truly need with a newborn!!

We think we have identified the pram we want as the Baby Jogger City Select, we received some prudent advice from my good friend about saving money in the long run if we were considering having our children close together - my sweet sister and I are only 18 months apart, and I had always planned for my children to be close in age too. Obviously God permitting this happens for us, but it makes sense to us to have a pram that gives us that option and still works out cheaper than the Quinny we thought we were going for originally!!! So I am working with the red colour scheme and not knowing the sex of either child!!

This changing bag shortlist is not one of those necessities but I just love looking at baby stuff so I thought I would have a look around and see what I came up with....

Caboodle Classic 

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Fisher Price Safe Voyager

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Summer Infant City Tote

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Summer Infant Easton Tote

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This is not an exhaustive list so don't be surprised if I change my mind completely and end up with something different. I think my main trouble with deciding is that Andy needs to agree which one he doesn't mind being seen with/carry!! 

Weeks 18 to 20

I have done this post a week early because we had our 19 week scan on the 19th April, which was kind of frightening!!! Being half way through doesn't even seem real. This year is just flying passed.

18 weeks                              19 weeks                           20 weeks

  

There was only 4 days between my 19 and 20 week picture and I can really see a bump forming! I am still at that point where not everyone at work knows, so its strange coming into a time where I wont have that 'is she fat or pregnant?' look!!

As I said previously, I have recorded this post early because we had our scan and everything is really healthy. The sonographer was really lovely and spent probably 20 minutes showing us so much detail of our little one. We made the joint decision not to find out what gender our baby is just to keep the excitement going!

Andy thinks girl but I think boy. I did think girl in the beginning but I just feel different about it now!! Not too sure what changed my mind, I think because its our first child I really don't mind as long as pea is happy and healthy.

Another reason for posting early is that Andy felt the baby kick/move!! On the 23rd April, he felt the baby kick/move about 4 times before pea settled to sleep. The movements are getting stronger now and I am more aware of them each day. I am looking forward to the stage where Andy can talk to the baby and actually get a reaction. His face is just such a picture when he can be included.

Wedding invitations

I may have mentioned before that I am making the wedding stationery for Andy's cousin; she is due to get married June 2013 - when we will have a 9 month old :O.

So here is a sneaky peek at what has been swallowing my time recently!!

I am also of the opinion that a pregnancy is a really good way to realise how fast time does fly by. I am obviously counting the weeks and trying to learn as much as I can about what is happening inside of me but its a scary thought that in 4 weeks my uni days are done, in less than 20 weeks our baby could be here and in 1 week the most premature baby has survived. Yes I think (worry) about these things. 

On the other hand our baby stuff collection is growing away - similarly to my belly! I think luckily for me our scales have broken and I am no longer weighing myself each day. I want to just take this as it is intending to come but with a sensible diet to limit how much extra pressure goes onto my hips!

Baby Album book cover

I have posted about V and Co tutorials before, I was just having a browse - avoiding uni work..... nd found this perfect solution to my baby book dilemma. I have started my baby diary/collection/scrap book/photo album time capsule thing and I have collected it in a photo album to give the most flexibility on pages.

But the front cover is bland and bluhh so I knew I would be doing something with it, then ta daa this brilliant tutorial that has given me the inspiration I needed to know what to do with it!!

I have a thing for doillies and was going to go down the paper route, but I think that fabric will last longer and help keep it neutral because we are going to wait until our baby is born before we find out whether its a boy or a girl.

Weeks 13 - 17

I am not big on sharing my pregnancy experiences so far because I believe its such a personal time. I think that everyone's is different and that its the difference that should be appreciated.

As I am now 18 weeks I feel comfortable sharing my growing belly - belly because it's not quite a bump just yet!!

13 weeks          14 weeks 

  

16 weeks         17 weeks

 

As you may notice, I completely forgot to take a picture in week 15. It was right when my hips were getting bad and I just didn't have the energy for anything!

My belly still isn't as tidy bump as I would have liked but as long as the baby is ok I am really not too worried!

I am starting to feel the flutters and weird wobbles that make me wonder if its indigestion or the baby. I love the thought of feeling him move around in there. I am looking forward to the bigger and stronger movements because I know that Andy will enjoy feeling what I have been feeling.

We have an appointment next week to see the baby again for its 19 week (omg) anomaly scan, this is the one where they could tell us what the gender of our baby is. We are not sure we would like to know, I find I have days where I really want to know to plan and get myself organised. But then I think that the surprise will keep us guessing and betting. I just don't know. What does it mean to know?! How does it change things for the pregnancy?!

Easter happiness

I am so lucky to have my mister I don't give him enough credit often enough for how much he does - especially with our little one on the way.

Our easter gift to each other was only small and was more about the joke as you can see below. He is just that lovely that he will play along with my silliness just to support me.

You probably remember that I call my mister my sunshine at times - that's why his is little mister :)

Love him.