25 to 29 weeks

I cannot believe that Monday 2nd of July I will reach 30 weeks of pregnancy. I will be 3/4 of the way to bringing our first child into the world.

I am really feeling the weight of carrying this baby on my back and hips at the moment, but managing to stay as active as possible to keep myself mobile.

Fortunately I will have 7 weeks left of work (wooohooo!) I have been listening to my hypnobirthing CD and it definitely has a positive effect on me because the baby gets a right wriggle on... which is cute because as he is getting bigger so are the jerky movements of my tummy :) as much as it genuinely is hard work being pregnant those movements really make me appreciate the life growing away in there.

So what's the opinion then? Boy or Girl? We don't know and I am not sure what the majority vote is - at work its boy so maybe I should organise a sweep stake!!

Let me know your thoughts .............

Growing your own vegetables

I think about growing our own vegetables quite often - I am not sure where to start or how to even go about it to be honest. Therefore it has been the subject to many a google search in my free time.

Firstly I would really like to try potatoes, we eat a fair amount of potatoes and I think that this could assist with finances whilst showing our little one how to live from what they have. Once I have mastered potatoes I think I might try tomatoes again, we were relatively successful the first year we  moved here but I didn't harvest in time and they got too ripe. Salad would be my next endeavour because again I eat a lot of salad and would be nice to have it so fresh!

I think that growing our own veg would have lots of benefits - I am hoping I would actually have the time to do it with the baby and my current ambitions, but it is still something I think would be majorly beneficial to us as a family. Getting us off of the sofa and into the fresh air.

Given the current condition of our garden - major landscaping works in progress - I think this is something I will continue to learn about but put off until the garden is sorted really. We are getting there slowly but surely and being pregnant doesn't help as I am not really able to do much to assist Andy with the hard work. The weather could do us a favour to and actually be nice this week so we might get somewhere!!

Anyways, I thought I would share what I have found just in case anyone else is thinking similar.

Potatoe growing
Leek
Lettuce
Sweetcorn

My mum knows how great I am at gardening so is probably chuckling to herself at the moment at the thought of me being interested in growing my own veg. I am sure I will learn to love gardening once we have got it to a state we can manage!

Today is ...

For me, today is a day I have been looking forward to - just a change of scenery with some training, but at a hotel with a different set of people. I enjoy the sessions and I enjoy hearing from the group.

However, I had about 3 hours less sleep last night because of back ache and I just feel down now. Like I don't really have a lot to contribute. My eye lids are still heavy, my back still aching and I am uncomfortable.

At 29 weeks I am glad my sleep has lasted this long and I have my fingers and toes crossed that this was just a blip and that I will return to my normal sleep pattern soon. If not ....... I can just see the next 8 weeks being a little stressful. I don't function well with little sleep. I can be very impatient and in my job that isn't helpful.

On a positive note as I was awake early the baby seemed to be too - looks like I should get used to these early mornings! The only happiness I can take away from the baby being awake early mornings once he/she arrives is that at least I will be at home and able to not be polite to anyone as I will be mostly alone!! Or asleep when the baby is!! Which I definitely could do with today. Seems the baby wants to be awake between 3am and 5am but then will happily sleep until 9am this morning.

So sorry about the moan, I want to keep memories of this day just in case Andy ever says to me lets have a third or fourth child. :D

Padstow Harbour

Each year the town band play in Padstow for about 2 and a half hours in one sitting and then usually would do a second sitting into the evening - however, as there is some sort of football event happening at the moment the evening session was cancelled.

Unfortunately even the day session this year was quite quiet and they weren't able to raise quite as much as we had hoped (I think, the amount has been published yet).

But still, I had a nice afternoon sat with my mother in law listening to my husband play the Euphonium. The baby has had a quiet day with less wriggling but certainly enjoyed some of the bassey-er (??) music by dancing in my belly! Which was quite nice, especially because pea likes the Flora dance which is of course good and Cornish!!

If you follow me on instagram you will already have seen these so I apologise.......

An etsy evening

I have spent some time this evening planning, reading and preparing to have my own etsy shop. There isn't anything listed as yet but I feel like I am making progress towards getting my butt into gear with where I want my interests and time to be spent.

I think I might be a little too ambitious given the wriggling beneath my top; but I wont know until I get there and give it a go.

This is a little round up from my week:

In terms of my pregnancy progress I have another 4 weeks photos to share soon, I cannot believe I am in my third trimester and almost leaving work (9 weeks!) I am also no longer able to bend over straight forward.

Home made crumble

Even though the weather today has been surprisingly good - I even had sunglasses on! I still couldn't shake my want of something hearty and satisfying.....

For those of you who follow me on instagram (njk12) will know I satisfied my homely need with some summer fruit crumble.....

This was the crumble recipe I used and it was delicious!!!! A very well deserved pat on the back for me!

Something else to scare expectant mothers...

*I am not writing this from the point of view of scare mongering or even to create further awareness, this is topic I am interested and concerned about for my own child.*

This post scared the life out of me when I first read it - no canned goods, no plastic containers and organic food only. Well that's my good intentions out of the window....

We aren't poor but we have a budget and I don't currently think it could stretch to organic food because of the price. So I am making the choice to continue eating foods that could potentially harm my baby. That isn't a nice feeling. At all.

So the changes I can make - glass containers instead of plastic, limited canned goods and no baby bottles for as long as possible which just makes breastfeeding even more important to me.

I do feel that this article is a little extremist and even taking the above precautions might not help if the genetic predisposition exists. All I know is I would rather limit everything I can within my powers but at the end of the day what is meant to be will be and I genuinely believe that.

I am also of the opinion all baby jabs should be given individually and not in combinations because I believe that it over loads their under developed immune systems. I have researched our course of action by being based in the UK and although this has costs involved I still think its a decision I need to research further.

I talk quite often with my mum about protect freedom and this feels like one of my over thought topics, why is that good and best intentions often lead to more confusion?!

Stay at home in bed day

Today is one of those days I want to stay in bed and doze, do some leisurely house keeping maybe a little craft but really just take it easy.

I have woken up with a headache and heavy eye lids.

Little pea was awake at 1:30, wriggling away. And then again at 5:30 so it looks like I should get used to these early waking hours....

At 28 weeks I think we are doing well and possibly over this week I will know more about this little ones sleep and activity patterns. Which is quite exciting because I do feel like I am on even more of countdown now, having the baby wake me up and 'play' at 1:30 seems ok at the moment, its not ideal but feels so special.

All I know is today is a slow day where I will get done what I need to but in no pace. Apologies.

Fathers Day in an expectant household

My sister sent Andy a fathers day card a couple days early but his little face was such a picture :) he is going to be the proudest daddy ever.

We had quite a busy day doing the rounds and catching up on errands - HATE how quickly the weekends seem to be going by. It was nice catching up with everyone though. Life can get away from me sometimes and I forget how much I genuinely enjoy seeing family. That sounds mean but preparing for a baby takes up a lot of time at the moment and I am so tired after work that evenings are mainly recovery time! I really feel blessed for the amount of support we have around us - can be overwhelming, but I am sure it will come in handy once this baby arrives!!

So I treated myself this evening; catching up on my blogs, preparing myself blogging and writing wise to allow me some time off when things get too much. I have so much planned and in the works I am quite excited! I just wish I could write and create for this space all the day. The nursery would be further accessorized if I had the time....

I also found an interesting article about some of the things expectant mothers aren't always told - with some tips thrown in to actually deal with what it identifies. Luckily I think my mum had warned me about most of these..... I just can't imagine sitting still for 6 weeks or at least taking it easy.

On the same website I found some interesting discussion points surrounding discipline and the job we have signed ourselves up for. I love to read especially topics that I am sure will frustrate me if I have no knowledge of how I want to deal with it. Disciplining a child is a very controversial topic and whilst I do appreciate our parents knowledge I want to do things how Andy and I see fit, not just because 'it's what we did'.

I joined the library!

I am quite a restless soul and don't often just sit without doing something, I really enjoyed spending my summers off from school reading. Getting lost in some chick lit romance as I am a hopeless romantic!

So today after my midwife appointment today - measuring 26cm!! I popped to our local library and joined up. I was disappointed with the lack of selection of baby information books, the only one I could find was about breastfeeding so I did have to get it just to make sure I am as prepared as possible when baby arrives - anything I can do to make our adjustment a little easier or make myself feel more prepared I am up for doing whilst I can.

In addition to the breast feeding book I have a new read from Jill Mansell - major chick lit, pretty much the same foundation for each book but its always enough to take me off to a romantic dream!

Next time I visit the library I am hoping to find some books that Andy can read to the baby, we have one we read over and over but it would be nice to find some more! I hope to get our baby as enthusiastic about reading and learning as possible.

HypnoBirthing

So another surprising post about pregnancy!

I can't remember my original reasoning for looking into HypnoBirthing probably a moment of curiosity.

But ever since then I am hooked on the idea of what potential is within me to control my labor and embrace all aspects. I have always liked the idea of a medicine free labor where I could just progress and go with the flow so to speak. I think that the less intervention we have means a quicker recovery and adjustment to our new arrival.

Interestingly the Mongan method of HypnoBirthing was first introduced in 1989 (only the year I was born!) and is based on the work of an English physician that was first developed in 1933. The essence of the method is that fear draws blood away from the uterus making it unable to do its job effectively without pain. The 'pain' of childbirth is supposed to be a combination of fear, tension and ultimately the flight responses identified in the theory 'fight or flight'. Now, I must say at this point I am pregnant with my first child. Of course I am going to look for a solution to labor that gives me my desired outcome. As I only plan two labors in my life I figure this is my starting point because of my beliefs. This method suits me and I appreciate it will not suit everyone.

The biggest positive for me with respect to this idea is the involvement of your partner, I have been quite open with the fact I struggle keeping something that is about us to myself and whilst I appreciate my role at the moment, I love the idea of having Andy welcome our child into the world with a more hands approach. Through massage, keeping me focused through visualization techniques and knowing how I want things to progress should decisions need to be made. At this point I do not fully understand the HypnoBirthing process because I have yet to get Marie Mongan's book, this perspective has been adopted purely from the things I have read online.

I will be ordering my copy of the book shortly - just to get the learning started! I will be sure to write up my birth story once our little one arrives, I hope its a good as some of the birth stories I have read so far.

Useful information:
Hypno-Birthing.org
HypnoBirthing centre

Evening nibbles

I don't know if its pregnancy related or if I am just turning into a pig, I am positive you will see pictures of some if not all of these over the coming days!!!

But these Cheesey crackers look awesome and I think I may just have to make some tomorrow.

I would really like to try and make my own peanut butter like here, I think that its a lot healthier and probably better for baby.

I think that trying something like these Meatless burritos before the baby arrives would give me more options for freezer stocked food. That way we have healthy dinners but they are quick and cheap.

I also really wish I didn't have some frozen pastry sheets, I wish they were defrosted so I could make these lovely cheese straws.

Planning for baby

So I am in my final 3 months of pregnancy and we are trying to step up our preparation by making savings wherever possible, just by making gifts myself and generally trying to get the house ready for a baby on a budget.
(Which is kinda hard when we have no real knowledge - outside of the obvious - of how to make our house suitable for a baby.)

In the house we need to:

• Paint a few rooms - freshen up white. 
• Decorate the nursery
• Clear out the cupboards
• Reorganize the kitchen
• Photo wall in the lounge
• Hall way mirror
• Restyle the bureau

Baby things we need to organise (This looks like we haven't brought anything!):

• Cot
• Travel cot
• Bedding
• Stand alone bouncer
• Storage box for the lounge
• High chair
• Stair gates
• Pram
• Car seat
• Baby monitor

A lot of things we are holding on until the baby arrives to get because we don't want to buy everything in browns, creams and yellow.

Evening in ..... Microwave cake

We also treated ourselves with a microwave cake!! We used this recipe and it turned out really well - even being our first attempt!!

This is a really cheap recipe to use because I had everything in the cupboard just ready to make this delicious treat. 

Pregnancy guilt...

*This is a very personal post, this is me trying to work things through in my head and adjust to this new phase in my life in a positive way. I wont accept derogatory comments on this post because I want to improve myself not feel worse.*

I feel tired. I feel worried. I feel fed up. I feel ungrateful. Most of the time I just feel guilty.

Guilty for some foods I eat.
Guilty I can't exercise as much as I want because of my hip pain.
Guilty that I don't love being pregnant.
Guilty that I worry and stress about working, money and being good enough for this baby.

I even feel guilty in knowing that all my worrying and stressing isn't going to make a difference and potentially negatively effect my baby.

I know that everyone has these days and pregnancy hormones play a part in how I feel, but I don't know how to make myself feel right again. My biggest fear is doing something wrong for this baby, for my husband or for us as a couple.

I held a newborn this week, he was beautiful. I was confident in holding him and comforting him so he didn't cry and I was also relieved to hand this baby back. How can I feel like that when I have my own baby kicking away inside of me? I love feeling this baby move, even as he gets bigger inside me and I get more uncomfortable I know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do to protect this life.

So how can I still feel inadequate? How can I wish my pregnancy away just enjoy the next bit. That's just me actually, I accepted that a while ago.

I know the overwhelming love I feel when Andy touches my belly and its the 3 of us. Andy being a little detached from this pregnancy - doesn't feel the same things and his life hasn't changed that much yet, is getting me down. I am so used to sharing EVERYTHING with Andy that something this important feels wrong for me to have to myself.

He will read to my belly every so often, kiss my belly and just sit feeling the kicks. He has been to all the important doctors/midwife appointments I still just don't feel quite connected as a family of 3 instead of a couple. Maybe this is still to come.